Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can "nee" at will to old ladies, and when the most brilliant running back to ever play the game of football retires prematurely.

What in the name of all that is sacred could make the NFL's leading active rusher leave the game when he obviously has several good years left under his belt? Winning a Superbowl? Hmmm... no, that's not it. Winning a NFC Championship? Hmmm... nope... that's not it either. Winning a playoff game? Winning a division title? Having a winning record? Going .500???? No! No! No! No! Barry Sanders did not leave the sport he dominated for years under the same terms as say a John Elway or a Wayne Gretsky, nooooo... Barry Sanders left because the organization he played for BIT THE DONKEY SCHLONG. Yes... you heard that right. The Detroit Lions have sucked burro genitalia for years now, and Barry just had enough. Hell, can you blame him? Most of us Detroiters had enough of the Lions a long, long time ago.

Simply put, the Detroit Lions are just one big blob of hot, smelly poo, emanating all the way from the top of the organization. Leading the trail of poo is Mr. Ford, the wonderful team owner who is a cheap bastard and really doesn't care about winning. Somewhere in the middle of the poo are the front office managers who are just plain incompetent. They have somehow managed to trade away nearly every good draft pick the Lions ever had the pleasure of employing. At the end of the trail of poo, the smear if you will, is our lovely coach, Bobby Ross. Hello... earth to Bobby Ross... learn to call plays, numb nuts. You might have wanted to try opening up the field a tad for the NFL's best rusher. Oh yeah... you also might have wanted to attempt to create an offense around him too. Now you're stuck with Ron Rivers. He he. Hehehe. Hehehehehehe!!!! Hehahehehehahahahahehahe!!!

To all of you dumbasses who (poorly) run the Lions, perhaps you will now get your just desserts. In fact, if I was Barry, I would have retired as well just to spite you people. Perhaps that's what he did. With that in mind, I shall leave you with this little poem:

"Barry, Barry, quite contrary, by retiring you have made Detroit quite scary (to watch, of course)."